This weekend was one of the worst, and the last fucking thing I need was my mom to pull this bullshit on me. I dont fucking lie to her and she thinks im lieing. I haven't lied to her in over 9 years. Yea thanks for being there for me when i needed you the most mom. I'm glade you dont listen to me when I say i have practice three times and you assume i ran off with my boyfriend. Thanks for doing the whole lieing bullshit to my face and making it seem like everything was okay but you turn around and stab me in the back. You think im so dark and demonic, you think im some freak of nature, you think Im lieing to you all the time. You just dont listen, Maybe if you did once in awhile you'd understand me. I know I've told you a billion times I dont like coke or spicy food. You dont even fucking know me anymore. I talk but you dont listen. Where are you when im telling you something is wrong? Where are you when im crying and stressed? You tell me to suck it up if you see me cry ,but you don't notice i dont cry unless i have a really good damn reason. You dont ask me whats wrong, your just push me away. When I need you, I talk to you, I tell you, You dont listen, and to me it seems like you dont care. YOU DONT LISTEN. You think alex is so bad ,but you want to know something MAYBE IF YOU LISTEN TO ME. You would notice that he is there alot more for me then you are. I know you pay for my cloths and feed me ,but i need more then physically being there, I need you to listen to me understand. Your my mom aren't you? I dont even know if you love me anymore. You say you'd kill somebody if anything happened to me? Really really? It dosen't seem that way anymore for all the things thats have happened. You know when lauren was locked out of her house kicking and screaming for someone to let her in and there was someone home. Yep thats how i feel. You abandon me in my dreams to die or be killed, You say your only doing this stuff for the best for me. Have you ever stopped and asked me? Have you ever asked me 'How was your day?' or "Why are you upset?". I know you just want to relax and get rid of us and have a new life with larry. I understand that so would I if i was you ,but if i was you. I'd understand I have kids ,like you do ,but you know it dosen't seem that way. Its just if you'd only listen to me, if you'd only listen alot would of been prevented. I know if you ever read this, you'd beat me, or scream at me. but i doubt you'd even read this line cause you would of already lost your temper. It seems like you dont care to know. Do you?